google google google

many many years ago
 i had a picasa account
 it linked to the blog 
made editing easy peasy

along came picnik
 i embraced picnik 
stored my photos there
 it too linked easily with my blog 

google swallowed picnik
 changed it
 made it less appealing 
but
 somewhere along the way 
google
 told me
 to store photos on picasa i would need to pay or lose them

 panicked i would lose all my photos access
 i agreed
 i am not sure when 
 i learned 
to hate google
 but i did
 i do

 as a search engine its wonderful
i refuse to even try its microsoft competitor 
my hate for microsoft
 is even greater than for google

 i stick with google for my blogs
 only because
 i am too lazy
to learn
to build/maintain 
my own website

wednesday
a pink banner
 appeared
 across the top of my gmail


it encouraged me 
to click and update my payment info for my google storage 
i clicked
 it took me to a page
 where i had to agree or decline the new rules
 since 
i didn't want
 to continue 
google storage
 i declined

 click here
 it said
 to quit google storage 

click i did
 took me to another page 
where i was told to click
 that
 took me back to the beginning
 GAH

 so
 i initiated a google call
 you fill out a form
give them your # 
they call you 
from 
whothefuckknowswhere

 i spoke to 'matt' 
my email address had to be told/read/spelled to him
 four times
 before he 'got' it
 then 
he said 
he'd cancel my google storage
a confirmation would be emailed

today (thursday)
i got an email
 from google
 telling me 
they tried to call 
but couldn't reach me
 so please
 tell them what i wanted

 finally
 i spoke for 15 minutes to 'mark'
 who i verbally abused 
because
 i am not a nice person and i was fed up

'mark' was only able to end my google wallet
 what? 
 i dont use google wallet 
i dont want google wallet

 he apologized
 but
 that was all he could do

 after questioning my clarity of thought
 because why would i want to end this relationship
 i told him
 i was old enough to be his mother
 that his questioning my decision was insulting 
finally 
he cut my ties with something i never had
 then
 told me 
i had to hold on 
while he transferred me
 to 
someone
 who
 could end
 my google storage

 wtf? 
was that not why i called?
 he apologized
he was only able to help with wallet issues
 aaaaaaaaargh
 i agreed
 in a very testy way
 to be put on hold
 while he transferred me
 to
 a storage ender

 another 4 minutes elapsed
 he returned to say 
no need to transfer me
 he had successfully ended my google storage

 he began again to tell me all i would miss out on 
i hung up

 the pink notice
 continues 
to hang above my gmail 

 now
 if i click 
it takes me to a page 
chiding me 
on
 attempting to access
 something i am not permitted access to!

oh google
i think i might be hating you more than i do microsoft

this rant brought to you by my being home sick with the world's worst cold


12 comments:

  1. I had a very similar encounter with customer service at Apple today. The human I spoke with sounded exactly like a robot!
    Feel better soon Daryl!

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  2. I hate Google also. I loved picnick and hated the way the destroyed it and tried to stick everybody in Picasa.

    I bought my own domain through them and then lost it, now mysteriously I have it again but I haven't switched my blog to them because I'm afraid that I'm going to lose it again.

    I hate them.

    Sorry about your cold.

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  3. My most recent customer service call went more smoothly than that- though being stuck in the automated system for awhile was pissing me off. But I have had to deal with people in that occupation who drive me so nuts that the idea of dousing them with barbecue sauce and throwing them into a fire ant nest is appealing.

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  4. We need many more competitors to the google giant

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  5. HATE that you are spending your 1st official Summertime Friday with idiots...coupled with the fact that you have a badass cold.
    Hope that everything is better SOON!!!
    xx,
    M

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  6. Daryl, I feel the same way about Google and Microsoft!
    Hope you feel better soon!

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  7. anger brings out the best in any Bch.
    toss in a freeking NY style cold, whew!

    Nurf balls save my computer, Carl, the tv.
    however they melt if you throw them at the stove for burning the oatmeal...

    I'd cyber hug you. but don't trust Google to get it there.
    doing the "Daryl get well dance", by the light of the moon tonight

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  8. OMG I am such a virgin! I need to follow in your footsteps.

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  9. ARGHHH. I store my photos on my own computer. I upload to by blog. I don't know where they go from there, but I've never paid anything.

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  10. Sigh.. I remember when I used to love Google. It became an asshole.

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  11. Well... I have not touched anything Microsoft since 1997 or 1998..... I wouldn't even attempt it now. As for Google, they make EVERYTHING hard so I can only assume that all of their crap is built/written by ex-Microsoft software writers. They make everything ridiculously difficult. I'm not sure why it has to be that way or what their motive is in making things so hard for us, but they must have a reason..... right?

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  12. I do understand. Had way too many issues with Google/Blogger. Now my rant is with Yahoo. When they updated, their email went to s@#t!

    I really hope you feel better soon. xo.

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