Seems like a pump, once primed I don't stop.
If you've been reading my blog you may know that my husband, Toonman, hasnt been well. Its a long story that I wont bore you with on top of the following long winded epic, I will just say he's a man ... 'k?
You may also know he spent some time in hospital recently, but has been home for about 2 weeks. Those two weeks have been spent going to doctors, having tests run. Toonman observed wryly that he heard of all these tests but never expected to be experiencing them all (and then some) within such a short amount of time.
He has fabulous doctors:
Dr TG - she's his internist
Dr Z - she's one of his specialists
Dr S - he's a specialist AND a surgeon
Dr J - he's another specialist
Dr G - he's another specialist and the man who actually solved the puzzle
Dr AG - she's Dr G's second in command
Setting is St Luke's Hospital
Curtain rises on an older couple heading to the hospital at 8:30 in the morning for both pre-op and diagnostic tests in the hope the surgery scheduled for the following day can/will still happen, they are accompanied into the ER registration by Dr TG who has pre-arranged all the tests and coordinated all the other doctors on the 'team'. Did I mention she's fabulous and we love her?
She leaves us after making sure ER Admitting understands why he's there, which tests are to be run and how his medications are to be given during the day. She says she'll see us later.
Settling into a cubicle we're reminiscing about the last time we were there when a smiling face appears at the curtain to the cubicle .. 'Hi, I'm Dr. Julie .. what are you here for?' We explain, she goes to get his file .. she writes up what she sees and then tells us 'its a red day (St Luke's code for bad weather+crazy people=chaos/red day) and there wont likely be a room available til 4 p.m. dont we want to go home vs spending all that time in the ER?' I call Dr TG and she confirms she wants Toonman to be admitted. We tell Dr Julie and off she goes .. and we never see her again.
Tests are run, some in the ER, some on other floors; Toonman's 'bed' is wheeled into/out of elevators as I tag along carrying coats, scarves, tote bags, papers/forms ... the debris accumulated by the wife of a man who has health issues. I also get to sit in waiting rooms playing Angry Birds, Level 4-20 over and over and over ... I cant get email or texts because the 'free WiFi' has thicker firewalls than Ft Knox.
We run into Dr S on the elevator on the way back from one test; we're visited by Dr Z and her partner whose nickname is Strep (can you guess what her speciality is?) as well as Dr J's 'Fellow' and later Dr J's partner. I donate blood at the blood bank, I'm 0 neg so I am very popular. And on the way to get coffee I run into Dr G who gives me a big hug and tells me he knows Toonman is here because Dr AG spoke to Dr Z. Its a nice day filled with good coincidences (not that I believe in coincidences).
At about 4:20 we're back in the ER noting the contrast of 8:30 that morning when it was empty except for us and nurses changing shifts to the mass of humanity there now: its jammed packed. I tell Toonman I wish I had a stop action camera to chronicle the ebb/flow of patients, nurses, doctors ... 'our' cubicle, #10, has been shared twice with other patients all of whom got discharged quickly.
Suddenly my phone rings quickly going to voice mail. I take off like Diogenes in search of a signal .. at the ambulance bay entrance I can hear the message .. its confirming surgery I know has been cancelled/postponed. I cant call back, its a recording, so I tell Toonman I am going to the Admitting Office to make sure they know the surgery is postponed.
When I get there I explain to a clerk we're in the ER waiting for a bed but only for more tests tomorrow not surgery. He tells me Toonman isnt on the list for a bed for that night ..
What? That's not possible, I explain, because at 8:30 in the morning Dr Julie in the ER put us on the list.
No, says the clerk, you are not on the list at all.
What? I begin calmly to explain how this is not possible but I am told over and over Toonman is not on the list, there is no bed .. its a RED Day.
That's what I exploded.
I used but one profanity .. and I said: excuse my language but this hospital is a clusterfuck. To his credit he didnt blink. I continue minus profanity but LOUDLY to let him know this was unacceptable. He suggests I might want to speak to his manager. I say only if the manager was going to find a bed. At that point another man shows up and he wants also tells me Toonman isnt on the list, so I yell at him.
And then Jose arrives.
Jose is the Assistant Manager of Admitting for all 3 hospitals in the Roosevelt group. He wants to talk, he wants me to sit with him. He thinks if he speaks in a soft voice I will stop YELLING. He doesn't know me. But when I am done telling him about Dr Julie and about our last sojourn in St Luke's he's looking less as if he wants to speak in a soft voice. He calls several people, lucky for me Security isn't one of them, and promises me that people getting discharged often must wait til after 5 p.m. for someone to take them home so the next bed that opens up is Toonman's. I ask if that means we still have to wait another 3 hrs til the room is cleaned and we get Transport to take us there, he says he will make sure it all happens without delay. I am skeptical. He accompanies me back to the ER, speaks to nurses, the Charge Desk person and he tells me that his assistant will be following up when he leaves.
Dr G arrives, she is astounded we're still in the ER so she goes off to kick some butt. She returns to say Toonman has a bed and we'll be going upstairs shortly. We all discuss the day, what tomorrow holds and when we think the surgery will be rescheduled; she gives me a prescription for Toonman's pain meds, enough to hold us for 2 weeks should the surgery be put off that long.
Transport arrives. We learn Toonman is headed to the 9th floor .. uh oh .. that's where he was last time and I do believe I managed to make every nurse on the floor hate me... and picture this .. the room is pristine .. two empty beds ... made Toonman wonder if St Luke's is like hotels who always have a spare room for celebs...
Thanks for listening, I needed to get that out ...