angry doesn't come close

That is a duvet cover I commissioned several years ago.
It was a work of love and art.


But with a down comforter inside it was too heavy so eventually it was folded up carefully and put away.

This past summer I met a blogger, Marlene Charbonneau of Living on the Spit, whose crafty blog drew me in and we got to know one another through blog comments and emails, or so I thought. I asked her about re-working my duvet cover into a quilt. She thought it was something she would be interested in doing.

She participated in this summer's BlogFest in Virginia so I brought the duvet cover with me for her to look at, give me a price for her labor, any materials she might need and postage to send it back.

After she looked it over, she quoted me a price that seemed extremely fair.

She was to remove the back panel, add some batting to the already lightly quilted top and replace the back minus a flap that would no longer be needed.

She told me she loved getting fabric and would take the equivalent of the fee in fabric from an online store (Fat Quarter World). I purchased a gift certificate in her name for the amount of the fee she quoted less $5. I sent her the $5 in a thank you card.

Shortly after she said she had begun working on the project her daughter was hospitalized and she said having the project would help her as she sat with her daughter. I told her not to worry about the project, take care of your child.

Then she got sick. I said please take care of yourself, the project can wait.

Weeks passed and I heard nothing, so at the beginning of September I emailed to ask how it was coming.

She said she had two more seams to go, she was hand sewing it. I said great!

Then it was the beginning of October, the 1st to be exact, and getting cold.

I sent her this email:


Marlene, my darling

Its getting VERY cold here and we are really not just wanting our quilt but also needing it.
I dont mean to sound pushy or unappreciative but in mid-July you said it would be done in 2-3 weeks .. its now 3 months later ...
I know you are busy and its a tedious task so really if you are still hand sewing the last 2 sides just pin it/pack it up and send it, I can get it finished here. ox

She replied: she got it in mid July, it been 11 weeks not 3 months. She and her daughter had been ill ... the email exchange ended with her writing she'd be mailing it off on 'Monday'.

Its October 20 ... the package arrived yesterday ... its postmarked October 10th and the quilt?

Well, its in pieces.

There's the top with the same amount of batting as it had originally.

The back is in 4 pieces.

Nothing has been sewn ... nothing has been done, except its now its in pieces.

She took it apart and never did a thing about putting it together!

To say I am angry doesn't come close ... to say I am furious doesn't come close ... my head was throbbing last night as I looked at what she did to something so beautiful.

I paid her in full, up front, for something she destroyed.

And since I have no way of ever getting my money back, I decided I would tell the world what she did.

Petty?

Maybe but I don't take to being lied to well.

Yeah.

Angry doesn't come close to how I am feeling.



57 comments:

  1. Aw Daryl. It is so hard when we mix business with friendships - even online ones - and my heart goes out to you.

    At least look at the positive - yes there IS positive. You got your quilt back. It could have been worse - you could have lost it forever. You didn't. Now...

    Take a deep breath, get the stuff you need, and make it a labour of love again and sew it up, make it like only you can. You did it before, you can again.

    Btw it is beautiful. I am so sorry you felt let down. Trust is so hard to earn and easily lost.
    Take care my friend and when you have calmed down, enjoy remaking it and sewing it with love.

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  2. yikes! we all know life interrupts and the best laid plans get turned upside down, but it would seem that a full refund and an apology would be in order? so sorry because it is/was a beautiful piece of work - xo

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  3. Oh dear that's just awful. :(

    If she was unable to do it she should have just told you. I agree with Thumbelina - remake it yourself at least that way there will be a lot of love goes into it. xxxx

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  4. That does suck! I'm sorry she let you down so hard! She should have just said she couldn't do it.

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  5. I'm sorry this happened Daryl. Hope you get it finished, and are snuggled underneath soon:)

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  6. Ok Daryl, here is how I see it. She's in Virginia, I'm in West Virginia. You give me her address I'll put it in my GPS and take a little road trip. I can thank her personally for what she did to your property. Does that work for you? It's the least I can do. I can even wear my unifrom, badge and all. I'll be sure and snap a picture of the look on her face. Stinks to have people take advantage of others.

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  7. Wow. Just wow.

    I mean, I understand that she had issues, but she should have been HONEST with you AND returned your money - no questions asked. DAMN!

    I'm so sorry this happened to you.

    You were right to expose her.

    D

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  8. Well that plain sucks. The dishonesty is the part that would be so hard to deal with and I can't believe at the very least a refund wasn't enclosed. I'm so sorry to hear about this.

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  9. This is horrible. I'm glad you at least got the quilt back. As I was reading, I was afraid that was what was going to happen--that it was gone--lost or ruined beyond repair.

    You are a trusting person. Why? Because you can be trusted. It's hard for good people to not get ripped off once in a while because we would never assume people would be like this.

    As for her excuses--we all have problems in life. There are a few times in my life when I've really dropped a ball. I had good excuses (as good or better than this woman's), but the fact remained that I dropped the ball, and it was MY problem, no one else's. We ALL have issues to deal with. Honesty is the only way to maintain our integrity.

    I hope you can fix it soon or find someone to do it. It's gorgeous. Again, I'm just SO. GLAD. you got it back.

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  10. Well, *sigh* - consider it an experience never to be done again. I agree with everyone in that she lied to you and should have been honest about not being able to complete the task for which she'd already been PAID. AND she should return the amount of money you gave her in the gift certificate and cash. Yikes! Some people....

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  11. Daryl, I am so sorry to hear this. Ii just breaks my heart in a lot of ways. I am glad you got the quilt back even though it was not what you paid for. If I could I would fix your quilt and this mess!
    <><

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  12. Oh. Dear.

    I'll bet there's at least a gazillion quilters in the city. Maybe you can find someone in or near the neighborhood to finish it. It really is a pretty pattern.

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  13. Oh boy...not a pleasant circumstance. If my mother's eyesight was better, she would gladly make it right.

    And I thought you weren't crafty? That duvet is beautiful.

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  14. ah. I can understand the pain of that. I wish I knew someone who could fix it for you. I am so NOT handy with stuff like that, and too far away....
    I hope you find someone quick......

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  15. Oh that is so sad. It's awful when a friendship, even virtual ones, goes sour.

    If only she'd been honest with you - trust losing trust's even worse than losing a friend sometimes.

    I hope you can pick up the pieces (literally) soon and stay warm!

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  16. what a pain.......
    I totally sympathize
    sad sad
    I feel so bad for you
    but obviously this woman has all sorts f problem with all sorts of things
    health
    honesty
    etc etc........

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  17. Yes, this sucks, but I have to tell you that you look fabulous, even when wearing a broken quilt!

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  18. I have a woman who does my quilting..she takes her time and all is hand done but I pay nothing until she is finished... I am so sorry to read about this especially after blogfest and anywa it makes me sad for both of you... there should have could have been a better way of handeling it... HUGS.
    blogger wont let me sign in so this is Laura ~your favorite peach ~ :)

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  19. I would have wanted to STRANGLE HER! I think I would have called her and said....WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?? I give you a beautiful quilt, in 1 piece. 3 months, oops, 11 weeks (what's the difference)later, after you have consistantly lied to me, you send it back in PIECES. ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh....

    I am just happy that you got it back. All the more love to put into it.

    So sorry you had to go through all of that.

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  20. Well, this sucks. Glad you made a public awareness post about this. xo

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  21. Oh crap.. I'm so sorry it turned out this way. I understand someone being ill, preoccupied, unable to fulfill an obligation for whatever reason. But she should have had the integrity to be honest about it from the start rather than lie, play date-semantics and show such incredible insensitivity as to send it back to you in pieces. I say we hire Katnea. ;)

    Truly, the voice of reason here is Thumbelina's. She's right. But before the calm, you have every reason and right to be angry. I don't blame you one bit for this post. This woman is undeserving as a friend such as you. And still you were kind enough to not link directly to her, knowing that she'd possibly receive some unsavory comments. I'm sorry this happened to you.

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  22. Good for you! She didn't deliver, and could have been upfront, wasn't, and continued with the charade. She could've just been honest with you and told you she simply couldn't do it, with all the illness.
    Anyway, I am glad you got it back.

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  23. Oh my. To take something beautiful, that means something to a person who is supposed to be your friend, and then return it, ages later, IN PIECES, is beyond callous or lazy. It takes ice cold brass. I'm so sorry this happened to you, Daryl. If it were me, I don't think that i COULD work on it myself. I would get too angry every time i saw what had happened to it. Again, I'm so sad that this has happened to you, my friend. :-(

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  24. Oh Daryl. I'm really sorry this happened to you.

    To my way of thinking, the worst part of this whole thing is that she lied to you, she betrayed your trust, and she stole from you. The quilt-in-pieces that she returned to you is pretty much representative of your trust, which is also now in pieces. There is no doubt in my mind that your beautiful duvet cover/quilt will be restored to its former splendor (I love it!). What won't be so easy to restore is your trust and faith in people. That is awful, and Marlene should be ashamed. Most people, I think, would never do that to a friend.

    And...good for you for talking about it!

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  25. I have been waiting/wondering if I should tell my story about MC but decided a while back that I should just let it be.
    Well, I sent her $50 last May for a quilted bag. She was having a fund raiser for a woman who was in a homeless shelter. I was on board right away.
    Never got it, very similar story though. She was sick, her kids were sick, she stopped answering my e-mails and didn't even have the courtesy to make things right. She kept the money and I have no recourse just as you.
    I am so sorry that this happened to you or anyone else for I am sure there are more out there. I am just sick over this...

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  26. You handled this really well.
    I would be foaming at the mouth.
    For a very long time.!

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  27. You were lucky to get such a beautiful piece of work back, albeit in pieces. Evidently, JoJo was not so lucky. It is good that you let us know about it. Thank you for that.

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  28. I am glad you have it back. But I am angry for you. As I was reading, I thought of how creative outlets make personal crises bearable. And this woman blew the opportunity your quilt presented. I feel bad. I hope your quilt gets put back together by loving hands.

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  29. I am so very sorry that it had to end that way, but very glad you at least got your beautiful quilt back - even if it was in pieces. It never ceases to amaze me how some people in this world are. It is very hard for me to understand how someone could be so deceiving. But I guess anyone can write anything and portray themselves as something they are not. With me, what you see is what you get. I'm too old for all that other crap (can I say crap?). Hugs to you. Hopefully it will warm up until you can get that beautiful quilt back together. ♥

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  30. At least she sent the quilt back; I'm sure it can be put back together. Too bad she didn't mail the payment back with it to you...your quilt may be in pieces, but your hair looks gorgeous! Hopefully you feel better after venting!

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  31. Can't say I blame you. And it always hurts to be crapped on.

    But I know you will turn that anger into a positive learning experience and move on...

    But take your time. Stay angry as long as you need to. Then just let it go. What the hell, you're not dead!

    Wishing you the best!

    J (or ... you know)

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  32. she's done this to more than one person????? like you say, angry doesn't even come close

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  33. How awful! I am so sorry this happened to you! I hope someone can restore your quilt for you, and I also hope someone can restore your faith in humanity (thought I understand it might take some time...)

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  34. that is so beat Daryl. I remember Oprah had a show on a company that put quilts together, but that was a long time ago, I wonder if she has anything on her website?
    Your Duvet was so beautiful, I would be heartbroken too.

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  35. hope you have got the anger out of your system and feel better for it.
    now to move on and drop off the excess baggage. i understand easier said than done. but what needs to be done needs to be done.
    so cheers!!

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  36. The issues here are trust and integrity. The only thing I can say is that I'm sorry it happened. I was glad to note that you did receive the quilt back. AND it looks like it can be repaired.

    So guess what? I got smart and opened your blog with Firefox. Worked like a charm.

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  37. Oh my! I don't think your email was out of line . . . especially if you hadn't heard anything from her. What I think is out of line is that she didn't send the gift certificate back with the unfinished quilt!

    I think it was more than fair for you to "out" her on your blog!

    Hopefully, someone will read about your dilemma and will know a person who can help you with the quilt.

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  38. That really stinks. She should have been truthful from the beginning and sent it back when she saw she wasn't going to be able to do it....with your money! The good thing is that she didn't destroy the front of it.

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  39. Wow, that sucks so much! I'd look for someone else to put it together for you. It was a very beautiful piece. I'm holding out hope you get your money back too... But then I am trusting that way, probably too much so. :/

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  40. I totally agree with you and would probably take her to small claims court, just for the hell of it!

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  41. Ditto on all of the above. I would offer to help, if I knew how to quilt :|. I also see you have someone to help you so I am hoping you get the quilt you want.

    As someone said, at least the front is still in one piece.

    Her lie to you is what is the most upsetting, in my humble opinion.

    And you do look GREAT! Even wearing a broken quilt and mad as heck!

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  42. It saddens me to think a friend could do this. Daryl, your quilt is beautiful and fixable....thank God for small favors.
    (((hugs)) my friend.

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  43. Daryl-
    It saddens me that this has happened to you. For a number of reasons.

    I hope the quilt can be fixed and you will soon be warm.

    {{HUGS}}

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  44. Now there are so many comments already - haven't read them all but I am sure all of them are with me: THIS SUCKS SO MUCH!
    Hey, this is my first shouted comment ever - felt not bad ;-)

    And after all I am with Thumbelina!!

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  45. i can understand how u feel. she shouldnt have accepted something which was beyond her skill or ability n lied as time went along

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  46. Geesh!! I'm gone to Jersey for a few weeks and you get ripped off...I'm surprised that being a New Yorker....and a Very Very trusting one....that you paid her upfront....this is truly a shame and I'm glad you atleast got the piece back.....

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  47. wish i could fix this for you my friend but, i don't sew. if i did, i would...i totally understand your feelings regarding, totally.
    many hugs and good thoughts going your direction.

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  48. You know, I understand nearly everything in life except lies. I can deal with the truth. I might not be thrilled but life is what life is. Why did she tell you it was almost done only to find nothing happened? I hope she steps up to the plate, refunds your money, and offers to pay toward its restoration. We all make mistakes. The way to fix them is to do what we can to make it right.

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  49. wELL, NOW LETS SEE DARYL...THE NATURE oF A QUILT IS THAT ...OOPPSS sorry....

    well traditionally the love and labour that goes into the making of a quilt reflects your path..the trials and tribulations... so now we have to make this quilt good.

    So that it hold better thoughts and love than this small part of its journey...

    If we were nearer I would put it back together for you. I am no great quilter and certainly not a hand stitcher, but there will be someone who can make it good...but being so far away, the postage would be very expensive as USA dont offer surface mail now...and would like to propose that a few of us who can stitch a bit, make a square so that one part of the quilt could incorporate some bloggers work and love to you....

    maybe a few of us can get thi sdone for you....

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  50. Shoot. That's a damn shame. Where are some folk's heads at? I am truly sorry for you.

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  51. Just reading this Daryl.

    WTF? And she did this to someone else as well with the bag?

    I think you should ask Katnea to make a visit.

    You know - if I did quilting I would say send it to me.

    Please - show us the finished quilt when you get it done.

    Perhaps Judge Judy could resolve it. At least you'd get your money back then.

    What a dastardly thing to do.

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  52. Daryl having seen her vicious comments to you on FB a few weeks ago, this does not surprise me! I hope you can get someone to fix it and well done for outing her, she deserves it.

    But couldn't you have given us a link so we could all go and comment at her?!

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