wery wordy wednesday

Seems like a pump, once primed I don't stop.

If you've been reading my blog you may  know that my husband, Toonman, hasnt been well.  Its a long story that I wont bore you with on top of the following long winded epic, I will just say he's a man ... 'k?

You may also know he spent some time in hospital recently, but has been home for about 2 weeks.  Those two weeks have been spent going to doctors, having tests run.  Toonman observed wryly that he heard of all these tests but never expected to be experiencing them all (and then some) within such a short amount of time.

He has fabulous doctors:

Dr TG - she's his internist
Dr Z - she's one of his specialists
Dr S - he's a specialist AND a surgeon
Dr J - he's another specialist
Dr G - he's another specialist and the man who actually solved the puzzle
Dr AG - she's Dr G's second in command

Setting is St Luke's Hospital

Curtain rises on an older couple heading to the hospital at 8:30 in the morning for both pre-op and diagnostic tests in the hope the surgery scheduled for the following day can/will still happen, they are accompanied into the ER registration by Dr TG who has pre-arranged all the tests and coordinated all the other doctors on the 'team'.  Did I mention she's fabulous and we love her?

She leaves us after making sure ER Admitting understands why he's there, which tests are to be run and how his medications are to be given during the day.  She says she'll see us later.

Settling into a cubicle we're reminiscing about the last time we were there when a smiling face appears at the curtain to the cubicle .. 'Hi, I'm Dr. Julie .. what are you here for?'  We explain, she goes to get his file .. she writes up what she sees and then tells us 'its a red day (St Luke's code for bad weather+crazy people=chaos/red day) and there wont likely be a room available til 4 p.m. dont we want to go home vs spending all that time in the ER?'  I call Dr TG and she confirms she wants Toonman to be admitted.  We tell Dr Julie and off she goes .. and we never see her again.

Tests are run, some in the ER, some on other floors; Toonman's 'bed' is wheeled into/out of elevators as I tag along carrying coats, scarves, tote bags, papers/forms ... the debris accumulated by the wife of a man who has health issues.  I also get to sit in waiting rooms playing Angry Birds, Level 4-20 over and over and over ... I cant get email or texts because the 'free WiFi' has thicker firewalls than Ft Knox.

We run into Dr S on the elevator on the way back from one test; we're visited by Dr Z and her partner whose nickname is Strep (can you guess what her speciality is?) as well as Dr J's 'Fellow' and later Dr J's partner.  I donate blood at the blood bank, I'm 0 neg so I am very popular.  And on the way to get coffee I run into Dr G who gives me a big hug and tells me he knows Toonman is here because Dr AG spoke to Dr Z.  Its a nice day filled with good coincidences (not that I believe in coincidences).

At about 4:20 we're back in the ER noting the contrast of 8:30 that morning when it was empty except for us and nurses changing shifts to the mass of humanity there now: its jammed packed. I tell Toonman I wish I had a stop action camera to chronicle the ebb/flow of patients, nurses, doctors ... 'our' cubicle, #10, has been shared twice with other patients all of whom got discharged quickly.

Suddenly my phone rings quickly going to voice mail.  I take off like Diogenes in search of a signal .. at the ambulance bay entrance I can hear the message .. its confirming surgery I know has been cancelled/postponed.  I cant call back, its a recording, so I tell Toonman I am going to the Admitting Office to make sure they know the surgery is postponed.

When I get there I explain to a clerk we're in the ER waiting for a bed but only for more tests tomorrow not surgery.  He tells me Toonman isnt on the list for a bed for that night ..

What? That's not possible, I explain, because at 8:30 in the morning Dr Julie in the ER put us on the list.

No, says the clerk, you are not on the list at all.

What?  I begin calmly to explain how this is not possible but I am told over and over Toonman is not on the list, there is no bed .. its a RED Day.

That's what I exploded.

I used but one profanity .. and I said: excuse my language but this hospital is a clusterfuck.  To his credit he didnt blink.  I continue minus profanity but LOUDLY to let him know this was unacceptable.  He suggests I might want to speak to his manager.  I say only if the manager was going to find a bed.   At that point another man shows up and he wants also tells me Toonman isnt on the list, so I yell at him.

And then Jose arrives.

Jose is the Assistant Manager of Admitting for all 3 hospitals in the Roosevelt group.  He wants to talk, he wants me to sit with him.  He thinks if he speaks in a soft voice I will stop YELLING.  He doesn't know me. But when I am done telling him about Dr Julie and about our last sojourn in St Luke's he's looking less as if he wants to speak in a soft voice.   He calls several people, lucky for me Security isn't one of them, and promises me that people getting discharged often must wait til after 5 p.m. for someone to take them home so the next bed that opens up is Toonman's.  I ask if that means we still have to wait another 3 hrs til the room is cleaned and we get Transport to take us there, he says he will make sure it all happens without delay.  I am skeptical.  He accompanies me back to the ER, speaks to nurses, the Charge Desk person and he tells me that his assistant will be following up when he leaves.

Dr G arrives, she is astounded we're still in the ER so she goes off to kick some butt.  She returns to say Toonman has a bed and we'll be going upstairs shortly.  We all discuss the day, what tomorrow holds and when we think the surgery will be rescheduled; she gives me a prescription for Toonman's pain meds, enough to hold us for 2 weeks should the surgery be put off that long.

Transport arrives.  We learn Toonman is headed to the 9th floor .. uh oh .. that's where he was last time and I do believe I managed to make every nurse on the floor hate me... and picture this .. the room is pristine .. two empty beds ... made Toonman wonder if St Luke's is like hotels who always have a spare room for celebs...

Thanks for listening, I needed to get that out ...


  1. I like the way you said it but darn I wish he were well.......

  2. I am so glad Toonman has you for an advocate! UNBELIEVABLE! are they crazy?
    & I am glad you have good Dr's too. They seem to help make up for some of the aggravation.

  3. I was all set to tell you that you both look remarkably calm and well put-together despite your ordeal when I realized that I was looking at a photo of a framed photograph. Yes, I'm an idiot.

    I second that good grief, and I'm not at all sure that I'd have stopped at clusterfuck either...

    Hang in there. Extra strength good thoughts headed your way.


  4. Few things are as maddening as hospitals. Almost everythi ng is geared for the convenience of staff, not patients.

    In any case, Toonman is fortunate indeed to have a fierce advocate. The only thing worse than feeling bad, is feeing bad and having to fight these fools alone.

  5. Hospitals can sure be a pain! I am glad that everything worked out in the end - sorry that you had to yell though! This isn't a time when you OR Toonman should be anxious about anything.

    My thoughts and prayers are with both of you for a smooth surgery and quick recovery!

  6. Gah! I truly feel your pain, its always a cluster when you enter thru the ER. I'm so glad you have a wonderful caring group of doctors, and that you are such a fantastic advocate for the Toonman. Praying that he gets well enough for surgery soon! Give him a hug from me, please.

  7. Well ... Profanity with a capital F.!
    I'm proud of you! Kicking some tush is good for the soul, headaches, ulcers, PMS, etc. ( I also think it helps you loose wt. ;)

  8. Oh my. My son works security at the hospital and is at this moment taking a class. "First, Do No Harm".
    I have to wonder if maybe the patients need this class. I agree. Hospitals are a nightmare. Total.

    I'm really proud of you. You did good. Toonman is fortunate to have you in his corner!!!

  9. Hugs to you both. Let the good news begin for you two...NOW!!!

    Love the photo of the two of you.

  10. Holy moly, woman. I'm so glad Toonman has you on his side. You go, girl. (((HUGS)))

  11. I could not work there. I hate that....
    "Dr. Julie" my arse...

  12. thank god you are a warrior! vigilance is the only way to make it through the medical world! I got a boatload of empathy for both of you! it's like visiting the land of Oz! xxo

  13. MAN I hate when it goes like that...

    YOU are awesome however and good for you to stand up to them about stuff like this and not budge.

    I had to when we were admitting my hubby for the second time in about 14 hours one day. ;)


  14. I worried that the bad weather would be a problem somewhere along the way. I'm glad he's got a room, thanks to his potty mouthed wife. ;)

    Hugs to you both.

  15. It's true about the squeaky wheel. I know this from experience.
    Prayers for Toonman - and you!

  16. I pray everything beyond this point goes smooth as silk. There is always hope =)

  17. Every patient needs an advocate and Toonman is lucky to have you.

    I hope he is able to have his surgery soon and get back tot he business of being well.

    Hugs and good thoughts for both of you.

  18. I am thanking every Deity imaginable that Toonman has you--and your vocabulary ;)

    Love the photo. Hoping all goes well--hang in there!!

  19. I would have gone totally postal after all those hours of waiting and waiting for a room. It is a wonder that you guys didn't ask for a room in the psychiatric ward. Maybe instead of Red day tomorrow it will be Vallium day for all who enter:-)

  20. Well, God bless you two, and God bless Jose. Here's hoping for better stuff for both of you in the very near future.

  21. Glad to see you don't take any Schtuff! All the best, hang in there!

  22. Oh, my word, what an ordeal. I have been known to be very cranky and very vocal in the ER. And not just with the staff but with my patient, as well. ;-)

    Best wishes!


  23. We've both had bad days, but you my dear have won this one. ToonMan is lucky to have you as an advocate. I've been wondering how your day went. And at first, I thought I was looking at a photo of the two of you in the hospital room, but you wouldn't be smiling like that!

  24. I do believe that you and your advocacy on the behalf of Toonman will get you both very far. My prayers are with you both. I am so sorry that you had to go through all that Daryl. Hospitals suck.

  25. G. A. H.
    clusterfuck is a great word choice!
    Hugs and prayers for all to go well and QUICKLY!

  26. WHOA.. that was more than a RED day.
    Kudos to you for not going postal
    on some of THOSE people... I do
    know what you went through.

    Hang in there.!!

  27. Really REALLY caring about you both and withing you WELLLLLLL!

    Aloha Means love to you both
    Comfort Spiral



  28. Sometimes 'kicking off' is the only way to get what you need. It's lucky Toonman had you there.

    Hope it all goes well, I'm thinking of you both. x

  29. You tell a story well. Well, it would have nice to have a nicer story to tell than that clusterfuck.

    This is after the fact, obviously, but glad to know you did get a room and hope you had a good rest last night and that went well today.

    The really sad thing about your story is that it is not all that unique...From my experience, it reflects the way most hospitals operate. I just pity the poor soul who is without a soul mate or a lawyer!

  30. Hospitals are a headache. I'm sorry you dealt with all that drama but I'm glad things worked out in the end. Best of luck to you and yoursg

  31. Wow! I'm impressed with your ability to manuever through all that mess. Good thing you were there to make sure they got it right. I hope that Toonman is feeling better soon.

  32. Oh my Daryl no wonder you blew your top, not sure I'd have lasted as long as you did to be honest. And I love your cuss word choice lol! Hoping everything is now moving along nicely.

  33. I'm sorry you guys had such a long trying day. What is wrong with these places? Glad you told them what for!


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