the moon is 99.99% full

I am back from a lovely dinner.

After moving up the dinner reservation 30 minutes, I leave the office, its 4:50 PM, take the elevator down and walk out of the building across 42nd Street to the subway; down the stairs, through the turnstile and as I go to put my Metrocard into my shoulder bag I realize I dont have my bag.

Its up in the office, inside the lower desk drawer.

So I turn around, go back through the turnstile, up those STEEP fucking stairs, across 42nnd Street, into the building past security, up in the elevator and down the hall into the office.

I grab my bag, throw it over my shoulder and as I walk out I yell to Boss #1 "forgot my bag, I am now gone".

Lucky for me when I finally get to the subway platform a train is being 'held' so I get on and got a seat. Well it was almost a seat. I sit down squashed between this woman in what looks to be a size XXL hooded parka and this seemingly normal sized man sitting with his legs so far apart he was taking up two seats. I guess his balls are too huge for him to sit with his knees together like a normal person sits.

I get off at 79 St, walking home I check my watch, its 5:15. I need to meet Judy at 5:30 and I must go home first so I call her cell and leave her a message.

Finally, I get home.

I MUST PEE.

Tossing off the scarf, the coat I walk into the bathroom, I pee, I wash, I put back on the coat, the scarf and .... WHERE IS MY EARRING?????

I look everywhere .. and so does Husband,

No earring.

I am upset. I am late. I am ready to cry. So I do.

Sometimes you just need to cry.

Husband had no idea what to do or say .. maybe you can make the remaining one into an necklace ... I know how you feel ...

A necklace? - I manage to get out through the crying

You know how I feel? Really? Have you ever lost something you really love?

A lot of deep breaths, a lot of self loathing: oh how fucking stupid I am. I dont deserve to own anything good.

I consider not going to dinner but I know she is waiting for me so I wash my face and leave to meet Judy.

Over a glass of Malbec I tell her about the earring. She does understands .. and she knows how he wouldn't.

Midway through the lovely glass of Malbec I get over it.

We had a great meal at a newish place, The West Branch, where I had a whole boneless trout that was amazing and a ceasar salad. Judy had half a chicken, I asked the waiter what they were going to do with the other half and he laughed, he got a good tip.

Judy got me ... wait for it ... a scarf. Seriously, that's the 4,000th scarf I have gotten as a gift since Christmas. I love scarves but people, it is enough.

We say good night. She walks to 72nd to get the express downtown and I walk home. KINGS a new TV show is being filmed in front of the Apthrop. I stop to watch for a minute. I walk the few blocks to our apartment quickly, its cold.

I walk in, I am taking off my coat when I look down at the cats toys and there is the other earring.


NB: Its not that I dont love Husband, its not that he didnt try to help. I was being irrational.