mommy and me

This is a repeat post

I wrote it May 8, 2008

This March 
was the 10th anniversary of Mom's passing.  
I still miss her.

I read wonderful posts that San and Momma wrote about their mothers and grandmothers. I am sure there are other similar posts out there as well as Mother's Day approaches here in the U.S.
I was inspired.
I was going to write this post about my mother and I set out to do that. To pay tribute to the person she was.
And then something happened.
The 'piece' began to write itself. Seriously. It ended up not being the sort of piece I intended but maybe it was the sort of piece I needed to write.

So I warn you upfront this is not a light or smile inducing tribute. I am not sure its really a tribute so much as a child's (me) guilt confessing.

She was and still is Mommy to me, and my sister, although she passed 7 years ago this past March.

She was an amazing person, my Mommy.
She had the patience of a saint. A Jewish saint but a saint to be sure.
She could untangle fine gold chains and sisterly quarrels with the same finesse.
She tried to teach me to sew. It was a losing battle.

I would either sew the button so tight it ripped the jacket or coat OR it would fall off again. I gave up even pretending to sew and would save up all the clothing that needed hemming or button replacement til I saw her.
She once asked what I would do when she was gone. Who would I get to sew my buttons on?
I blithely replied I would take it to the tailor.
The first time I had to do that after she died I cried.

Don’t get me wrong. She drove me crazy. I love her but she knew not only how to sew on buttons but also how to press my buttons.

After Dad died and she was in failing health (far worse than we knew) I would call every day. 
I thought I was helping. I listened to her complaints, I gave her advice.

I’d encourage her to get up and walk a bit ... take one step further every day, go on, do it and soon you’ll be walking to the pool I would say.

Her caregiver, a lovely woman named Val, told me that when the phone would ring mid morning Mom would turn to her and say here comes the lecture.

I meant well. I had no idea how sick she was.

In mid February I called to tell her we booked our flights, we'd be there on March 9th but before I could tell her she said: Come visit me. Come soon.
I said: Mommy we'll be there in just a few weeks.

When we got the call she’d been taken to hospital it was early Saturday morning March 3rd.
Val said Mom had been to the beauty salon on Friday to get her hair colored and set. She had a nice day. She went to bed as she always did at 11 pm.
When Val went into her room the next morning she wouldn’t wake up.
EMS was called.

We got the first flight down, tensely wondering for the 2.5 hours if she’d still be alive when we got there.
She was. She was still in the ER but she smiled when she saw us. We joked with her that she would do anything to get ‘her girls’ to come visit.

Things didn’t go well.
We moved her to hospice on Tuesday, March 6 midday and she passed, gently, peacefully, I hope, at 7 pm that evening with her girls holding her hands and telling her it was okay to go, that Dad was waiting for her.

21 comments:

  1. with her girls there I am sure it was peaceful and gentle

    hugs dear lady

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  2. What a beautiful Mothers Day post from a very loving daughter.

    I know your mom is a saint, looking down from the heavens saying, "that's my girl".

    Love you.

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  3. Daryl, you touched my heart! My mother passed when I was 19. I miss her every day, even 40 years later!
    Here's to your Mum and my Mum. And here's to you! Hope you have a wonderful day!

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  4. :-) I really enjoyed reading this, Daryl. I didn't have a good relationship with my mom so always love reading the write ups from those who did/do.

    DI

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  5. I love sewing buttons and hemming things and believe that from now on when I do these things, I'm going to remember this story.

    And think of you ~

    Loved this.

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  6. Bless her-


    -and YOU, my sis!



    Aloha from Waikiki


    Comfort Spiral

    ><}}(°>


    ><}}(°>

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  7. Aw gee. I'm not sure what to say, except that it's a remembrance well worth reposting. I'm glad I got the chance to read it.

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  8. Oh Daryl, this was amazing. Your Mom sure did a wonderful job being a Mother :)

    My Mom passed away 8 years ago coming in August. I, too, miss her every single day...

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  9. Thanks for posting this again. My Mama died on January 7, so this is my first Mother's Day where I am without her. Although, to tell you the truth, I don't think I am ever without her--she was and is that special to me. Much like your mother is to you, I am certain after reading your wonderful piece.

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  10. You have a gift you know my friend. You can put in words what most of us only dream of. A wonderful tribute to your mom. I wish I had the words myself.
    V

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  11. So very touching. I got teary
    eyed remembering my last minutes
    with my sister when she passed away
    Feb. 2010. A day hasn't gone by that
    I have not thought of her and some
    faded memory from our childhood.

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  12. Lovely tribute, Daryl. I'm so glad you reposted it. Hope you had a great day... (hug)

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  13. You truly have a gift for writing. This was such a vivid portrait of your mom and of your relationship with her. The magic is in the details.

    My mom died two years ago, and my dad passed the year before. I still think of them and miss them every day. It was a blessing for you all that you were together at the end.

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  14. This was a wonderful tribute to your mother Daryl. I am so glad you two were holding her hand when she left this earth.....

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  15. What a beautiful tribute to your mom Daryl. My mom has passed away as well. It was a very painful and trying time...her battle with Alzheimer's and I still miss her every single day. Hope you had a good day today!

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  16. This is very touching. I am so glad you got to see her before she left. So glad.

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  17. I saved this to read when I had time to take my time & I am glad I did.
    Thanks for sharing this very touching part of your life Daryl, I just sent this to my mother to read.

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